stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
