how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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