dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
