I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
