the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize