So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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