..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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