who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
