Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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