I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
