So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
