The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
did i just pee glitter
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
