He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
