He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
