Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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