Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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