Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just google imaged poop.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
