So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
