Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
