stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
