I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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