Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
