Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
