I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
