New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My feet surprised me
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