i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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