I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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