Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I love having hate sex.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
