After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
