wrigley field is MILF paradise
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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