don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
