We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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