I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Houston, we have a squirter
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
