so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
