What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize