chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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