he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think my moral compass just broke
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
