I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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