Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize