Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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