Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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