Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
