Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
