So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
