YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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