im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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