I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
