the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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