he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
