guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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