me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
