We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
