you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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