her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I wear drunk well.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
