Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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