You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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