She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I love having hate sex.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
