If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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