this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
