Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you told grandpa to call you daddy
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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