Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
